After a year of deciding we wanted to have kids, we were finally able to start trying. Vaccines were in order, no more birth control and you think that’s all, right? When we’re young we’re led to believe that if you have sex any time one week before or after the 14th day of your cycle, then you’ll likely get pregnant. With the birth control off, nothing could stop us from getting pregnant in a month or two.
Maybe it was just me, but I didn’t think I needed to take any special measures to get pregnant. My obgyn had told me with an accusing stare at some point in the past that my eggs were created when I was in the womb. So, my eggs are kind of old, I thought. He didn’t bother really explaining that their number also rapidly decreases in the mid 30’s and many other things start changing in the reproductive system. Some people actually study biology and know these things already, for most of us, even if the information was received in high school at this level of detail, we’d have forgotten 20 years later.
After just a few months of trying to get pregnant (by simply stopping birth control), we had to go through some major changes, big move, job and such, and when things finally settled we got pregnant. Oh, it was just the stress that was affecting me off course, I assumed.
However, because we were not really “actively trying”, and I hadn’t read anything about pregnancy symptoms, I didn’t realize I was pregnant initially. I spent an entire night throwing up and blamed it on the food, then spotted at the time I was expecting my period and assumed it was just a light period, then my breasts were sore… and I started putting it all together.
I was 7 weeks pregnant when I went to the doctor and had a sonogram. There was no embryo. It is called a blighted ovum. You have all the symptoms, the tests are positive, you have a placenta sac, but no embryo. I was devastated. By then I had devoured 3 pregnancy books, installed 2 apps, bought grandparent coffee mugs for my parents, prepared how to give them the news…
I had to get an induced miscarriage, which was painful and emotionally draining. But then my body started cycling again pretty fast and on a positive note I kept thinking “I actually got pregnant once so I should be able to again”.
Lesson number 2: It takes precision to get pregnant. An egg is released and travels the tubes and uterus in a couple of hours and gets expelled. It needs to encounter sperm during that short time. This means having sperm already in your body 1-2 days before (yes, it typically lives that long). How long sperm can live inside your body changes from woman to woman. So, if you don’t have sex for 2 consecutive days you could have entirely missed the chance!
A Stork's Journey 