Three years had gone by since we made our decision to have a kid. Now at 37, my obgyn refers me to a fertility clinic. During the first appointment the doctor explains the options very clearly. He even makes me repeat them to him to make sure I understand. We can try IUI (intrauterine insemination) for one or more cycles, or skip that and go to IVF (in-vitro fertilization). The recommendation will be dependent on the tests.
The tests come back and the news are not very encouraging. I’m almost out of follicles inside my ovaries, which means IUI might be a waste of time and he recommends IVF. But, after the good first impression, I find myself having to call the clinic to get the test results mailed to me, because it is not their standard practice to give the results to the patients. The doctor does not see me again after the results, only gives me a call. So, I’m faced with the decision to spend $25,000 dollars on one IVF cycle at a clinic that has not spent any time going over the test results with us (where I already spent $2,000 on tests). At this point we backpedaled fast and I start thinking about other options.
I spend hours researching about adoption. The more I read about it, the more excited I am with the idea of giving a chance to a child that might not get it otherwise. My first idea is to adopt in my home country, Colombia, but I find out that the US does not allow me to bring an adopted child, because I’m not an American Citizen. We still continue with the search, go to adoption fairs, go through adoption training and end up with mixed feelings. Most of the children that are given up for adoption in my country come from poverty, but they are healthy otherwise. Most children that go for adoption in the US come from drug and alcohol addicted mothers and have serious conditions derived from that. It is scary and my husband is not as ready to continue down this path now that we know the challenges.
Demoralized, I find another OBGYN who has a fertility background and at my next routine check-up, she recommends repeating all bloodwork (it’s been a year). The results are very similar, however, the AMH has increased. AMH is related to ovarian reserve, and it’s not supposed to increase, ever. In my case, it went from 0.04 to 0.43. It’s still low but it is a significant and unexplained increase. In the year between the two tests, after giving up on fertility treatment with the first clinic, I read about natural and alternative methods and foods to improve fertility. I bought royal jelly, pollen caplets, and other products that I read about, and I can only attribute the increase to them. However, the recommendation is still to go for IVF.
At this point we are stuck with the impossibility to adopt a healthy child in Colombia, the high cost of IVF in the US and the distrust in the clinics that we have to choose from. I start talking to my doctor from Colombia and he recommends that I go home for the treatment, at a better clinic and for a fraction of the cost. The logistics are complicated since it means to go home for a couple of months but even the salary loss is less that the total cost in the US. I get connected to a doctor and start learning about how the process is done in Colombia. Without having paid even a doctor’s visit, I have already spent a few hours talking about the process with the doctor, all the details and options are quoted by the clinic (in actual written documents). I finally start seeing a little glow at the end of this long tunnel.
Lesson number 4: there are many options, from conception to adoption, different methods and treatments, and plenty of doctors, clinics and agencies. It’s easy to get demoralized by a wrong choice or unexpected result, but at least one of the many options will be right for you. With so many undesired kids being brought into this world, those of us that truly want them should not give up, ever.
A Stork's Journey 